My Final Training Run and Wonderful Fiance

For the past few weeks, I have been having serious anxiety about the race. See post below for details.

My fiance, seeing my anxiety, has been having, on average, three pep talks a day to get me confident and pumped up. He's a good man, and he loves me. I love him.

Don't worry! Don't leave! I'm not about to get mushy and weird on you.

Today was my final long-ish run. 8-10 miles was required of my legs to be prepared for the big day. Which, by the way, is in just under 7 days. Oh boy.

Today I felt a big gaping hole where my confidence in myself should be. Isaac saw that missing piece and decided to patch it up.

Quick background: Isaac used to run sometimes with two friends of his. They were both half his size and twice as fast and efficient as him. He did it to get into shape. But he's not a "runner" per se, and he hates the activity. It's boring. Aside from the fact that he hasn't done any actual running in over a year, since the last time we went running together, he's an otherwise very physically fit person. He's recently been swimming at least a mile a day, and when he doesn't do that, he's lifting, working on his core, cycling, mountain biking, and being totally awesome.

So today, my non-runner fiance decided that I needed to get totally pumped up for the big day. He, (have I mentioned he's a non runner?) went on my 10 miler. The entire time we were running together, I felt like time just flew by.

We got to talk about how we want to raise our future children. What kinds of toys are allowed, no TV allowed, what sorts of movies they'll be allowed to watch, no video games with violence, etc. (In the end, we determined our kids will probably think we're really lame until they're about 20). In between wistfully discussing our future and our family, Isaac kept telling me how proud he was of me, how awesome I was doing, how great my form was, how good I looked running, how steady I kept my pace, how awesome I was, and how pumped he was that he'd be able to tell our future children that their mother once ran a marathon!

So, aside from being reminded one stride at a time how lucky I am to be marrying someone who is so uplifting, supportive, and loving, I'm feeling pretty pumped about my marathon. Even if I'm not thrilled with my time or my performance, even if I'm in pain, exhausted, or struggling on race day, when I cross that line, the man that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with (um, whoa) is going to be beaming with pride.

And I gotta say, that alone feels really good.

Marathoner's Worst Nightmare

Right now, for this marathoner, it seems that my worst nightmare is...the marathon.

I passed the stages of excitement, confidence, and pride. Now, I'm terrified. I did great training in Oregon...until my knee started acting like poop.

But, I am running for Girls on the Run! And it's too late for the organization to refund the donors' money, so I'm running it regardless, to honor the good intentions of the people who donated to my fund raising cause.

Come to find out, no matter how in shape you are in Oregon, when you get back to 6,000 feet in Arizona, you don't feel in shape. At all. I feel like I have to learn to breathe all over again! It's not as easy as it was on the farm.

Of course, as the date looms closer, I've been having one anxiety incident after another. I'm supposed to be tapering off my training, but feel like I should be working harder to stay caught up! What to do what to do...

Add this to a series of literal nightmares in my sleep, I'm so nervous. I'm not so much aiming to finish it at this point as to just get it over with. Here are my dreams:

1. I am running the marathon with just two girls. Who seem to mix marathon running with gymnastics and break dancing. They intimidate me. Where are all the other runners?! Am I ahead of the crowd or really far behind?


2. I forgot to get my registration packet, and don't realize it until I'm already running the race. I don't have my BIB. This is a great concern to me in my dream. How can I be running without my BIB?

3. I am always running around the 2-mile marker and not making any progress. I have 24.2 miles to go but can't get past the first two miles!

4. I lost or forgot the electronic chip to go on my shoe, and because my progress and speed cannot be tracked, the marathon people think I'm cheating and kick me out of the race.

So, I apologize for a negative post in which I'm completely FREAKING OUT, but if I can't be honest, what else can I be?

I'm hoping that as I get my mental thoughts more organized, I begin to feel excited about what I'm about to accomplish again. We shall see, we shall see! Think good running thoughts for me!

It's been a while!

The Portland Marathon is in just a few weeks, and I've only got those few weeks left to prepare.

I don't want to lie, as far as marathoners go, I'm not the most organized. I feel that I should have started training further out than I did. My longest prep run will be 20 miles, which is much less than I initially planned to do by now.

I've had a few injuries. Nothing major, but things I had to allow to get better before picking up training again. The most recent of which was some knee trouble that was my own fault. I went to Oregon, and took too much advantage of the altitude difference, and ran too often, too fast, with no cross training in between. One is fully recovered, the other is on its way.

I am still going to run that marathon! I am very excited. Mostly nervous. And very in-question of my initial reason to do it.

In other exciting news, I will be crossing the finish line as Natalie, Isaac Schaefer's fiancee! I'm engaged! So much has happened this year! This marathon started off as a shared goal between three girls (my future sisters in law!). Since then, it went down to two of us. Then Alicia became a momma to be! And then there was one...me. What a busy year! (Yes, if you can't tell, I'm still very elated to be engaged and am happy to share the news everywhere!)

Big Miles and Big News

Last Sunday I ran 20 miles. It's so far! My legs ached, but my muscles were not sore afterwards. I take that as a normal sign. Feeling great now. 23 miles this Sunday or next.

But I digress. I am now running this marathon solo. Madeline dropped out because of knee problems and school. Alicia was really into it, very excited to be doing the marathon. She happens to be a naturally gifted distance runner!

Turns out, she is also going to be a naturally gifted mother! Alicia and Stewart are expecting their first child in March.

The business of growing cells and making an extra cute baby is hard work! It's exhausting for her, and she is not always feeling well. Marathon training is not in the picture for her right now.

She hopes to try for the marathon again in the future, but will have to figure out how to make that happen in a year or two.

I could not possibly be upset that I am running alone because this joyous news is so wonderful and exciting, it over shadows everything else.

Congratulations Alica and Stewart!

Run Oregon

I love Oregon. I love everything about it. I like the way that it smells of fresh dirt, hundreds of trees, flowers, moss, and mold.

I love that it gives me a feeling. You know how when you read a wonderful fiction novel, or watch a fun fiction movie, and you feel this sense of "magic," wishing that a certain place or thing you're momentarily wrapped up in really existed? Well, Oregon is like that...only it really exists! Every day that I'm here, I feel like I'm right in the middle of some magical (YES, I like to use that word, no, I'm not referring to wizards and fairies), place that seems too wonderful to exist, but does so anyway.

So, imagine my delight to tread the Oregon earth, and take in all the sights, sounds, smells and feelings on my runs! It is delightful.

Running in the desert was getting way too hard for me. Early morning runs were still beautiful, but the desert is intense; and as much as I wish I was an intense person, I'm not. Spicy hot food? Yes! Spicy hot climate? Not on a regular basis.

I'll be running here for a month, and hopefully catching up! I got far behind. I still believe in myself; I still believe in the cause I'm running for, and I still believe in running! And now, I believe that running in Oregon will be a month-long gift to myself. Thank you, self.

Today I ran approximately 7 miles, running up and down each row of the Filbert orchard. Lots of organic soil under my feet, huge, moss-covered Filbert trees in every direction, and sun peeping through the leaves and the corridors created by them. Lots of shade, lots of earthiness. It was nice. It felt almost like being inside the hallways of a very sacred building. Only here, the ceiling was made of leaves, barrel-vaulted by branches, held up by columns that are carved in natural shapes, covered in a mural of green; and the floor is slightly untidy...covered in dirt, and fallen nuts. Very sacred indeed.

I can't wait to experience even more of the Oregon surroundings on my runs. Running in this environment may be so enjoyable in and of itself, that I'll rack up miles without even noticing!

P.S. This place is crawling with peacocks! They're everywhere. I like to play a game with myself where I see how many feathers I can spot when I'm walking or running about. I'm still getting used to their call though...it sounds so much like some kind of cat from outer space, that I just about crawl out of my skin every time I hear it! I suppose it helps to keep the runs interesting!

16 Great Miles

I ran 16 miles yesterday, and it was the first time in the long time that I really enjoyed a long run.

I didn't just enjoy it, I loved it.

I realized how much I take for granted. My body, the ONLY one I have, can carry me 16 miles. What a gift! How great it is to feel my health, youth, and vitality in motion.

But it wasn't my body, or my speed, or the fact that I felt GREAT from mile one, to mile 16. It was my surroundings.

I got up at 4 am for this run. I started running while it was still dark, before the sun was out. At first, it felt cold and eery. It was in the low 60's when I started, high 60's by sunrise. I realize that's not really "cold" but after a few months of summer in the desert it feels cold.

Let me digress.

I had the desert to myself until after the sun was well up.

Per usual, I was running on the south rim of Canyon de Chelly. I decided this time to run one continuous line, instead of running half the distance and turning around. So, for the first time, I got to see a beautiful 16 mile stretch of the canyon. And I was moving on foot, so I had ample time to take in all the scenery.

If you have a list of things to do before you die, add this to it: a desert sunrise. It was phenomenal. At first, I was kicking myself for not having a camera on me, but quickly realized that no camera could do this sunrise justice. Allow me to attempt to do it justice with words:

As the sun was about half way up, all the red rocks of the desert and canyon seemed to glow this indescribable shade of crimson. The sky was coming to light, the clouds were deep purple, the whispy ones glowing pink, and the edges of all the clouds an overwhelmingly happy sunny orange color. The entire sky had ribbons laced throughout it, the color of salmon flesh.

The Juniper trees laced the air with their scent. Cotton tail bunnies shared the road with me the entire way. Just hopping all over the place. There were hoards of them! They're cute enough to make me feel that childish urge to go get one and hug it. (I refrained).

Wild horses were out by the dozen. Grazing, looking for what little foliage there is to snack on. They seem so much nobler in a wild setting.

I even saw a rattlesnake! At this time of the year, it's not uncommon to encounter them on a fairly regular basis. I respected its space, it respected mine. Some people fear them or think they're horrible. But, I think the desert needs them, for poetic reasons at the very least. I realized on my run that snakes bring a fierce, lithe sensuality to a rough terrain. It fits in perfectly, and makes its surroundings even more beautiful.

I don't think I would have enjoyed this run as much if I had done it at another time of day.

My body carried me through this 16-mile moment; and I'm thankful to my body for that. After enjoying a full morning of nearly drowning in these beautiful surroundings, it made me realize how much of the desert's beauty I've really been taking for granted the entire time I've been living here.

It's not an easy place to live. But it is a wonderful place to enjoy a very early morning run. I can't wait to do it again.

Love,

Natalie

A Great Honor!

I got an e-mail from my dad this morning, letting me know that he has made a donation, sponsoring $10.00 per mile of my marathon in my name, for his favorite charity. It's not the one I've started fund raising for, but had I heard about this one, I would have been really interested immediately.

So, $262.00 will go to the Marine Corps-Law Enforcement Foundation upon the completion of my marathon. I am so honored! 

This foundation raises money for the higher education or special medical needs costs of children whose fathers are killed in the line of duty, either as Marines or Law Enforcement officers.

Please check out the website of this wonderful foundation, because I can't convey what a great honor this is on my own!

Marine Corps Law Enforcement Foundation

--Natalie

Finding a Mantra

Earlier this week, I was reading in Runner's World that many long distance runners develop mantras that they repeat either aloud, or in their heads, that get them through painful or difficult runs.

Today, Madeline, Alicia and I ran 9 miles. Our longest so far!

Over the past couple of runs this week, I had been attempting copy-catting some of the mantras the runners in the magazine said they use. They didn't really give me any extra boost. Some of them were things like "Go, go, go!" Others were more image-centered, some sounded like tough love, and others didn't make any sense to me.

What I realized on my run today, as I was fighting strong head-winds and some cross-winds (and lots of hills!), was that repeating something that was meaningful to me did it. I don't care what my body looks like at the end of this. I don't care what people think of me for doing this, whether they think it's motivated, crazy, or stupid. While I am really proud of going this distance for the first time in my life (26.2), what matters to me is how this is benefitting me in the long run. 

I found myself forming a mantra without thinking about it. For a good 2 miles I kept saying the same thing, out loud, over and over and over again, and it kept giving me an extra shove to run through the pain. Here it is:

"Stronger heart, stronger lungs, stronger legs."

If I keep this habit for years to come, I'm improving my strength, endurance, health, and  lung capacity. I'm not fast, I'm not particularly graceful, but I am healthy enough to do this! I could be doing it for washboard abs, toned calves, or the T-shirt at the end of the race, but the thing that makes me happiest about running and doing it to achieve a goal is how much healthier I'm becoming, and how much healthier I'll continue to be. For me, that's something worth running about.

--Natalie

Crater Lake

Sunday was 8 miles! 

Currently, we're in the middle of a discussion, trying to decide which half-marathon(s) to run as part of our training. Half marathons are great for marathoners to run because it can really help to measure pace, preparedness, and give a good feel for the race day environment and preparation.

Right now, it seems that one of the half marathons in consideration is the Crater Lake Rim Run:

With a view like that, how can you not be tempted to lace up your shoes and join the ranks at the start line? 

There are also 2 half marathons taking place in Portland this summer, as well as another in Gaston. More updates to come as decisions are made. 

--Natalie

Brief Interruption

I recently decided to raise money for an organization called Girls on the Run. You may have noticed the link on the upper right hand side of this blog page. That link takes you to my pledge site.

Right now the closest GotR council to me is in Coconino county. It's not that far, but I'd like to start one in my community in the fall, in addition to fund raising. Here's a video that shows you what Girls on the Run does:

Click Here to Watch the Video

Thanks for taking a look,

Natalie