Marathoner's Worst Nightmare

Right now, for this marathoner, it seems that my worst nightmare is...the marathon.

I passed the stages of excitement, confidence, and pride. Now, I'm terrified. I did great training in Oregon...until my knee started acting like poop.

But, I am running for Girls on the Run! And it's too late for the organization to refund the donors' money, so I'm running it regardless, to honor the good intentions of the people who donated to my fund raising cause.

Come to find out, no matter how in shape you are in Oregon, when you get back to 6,000 feet in Arizona, you don't feel in shape. At all. I feel like I have to learn to breathe all over again! It's not as easy as it was on the farm.

Of course, as the date looms closer, I've been having one anxiety incident after another. I'm supposed to be tapering off my training, but feel like I should be working harder to stay caught up! What to do what to do...

Add this to a series of literal nightmares in my sleep, I'm so nervous. I'm not so much aiming to finish it at this point as to just get it over with. Here are my dreams:

1. I am running the marathon with just two girls. Who seem to mix marathon running with gymnastics and break dancing. They intimidate me. Where are all the other runners?! Am I ahead of the crowd or really far behind?


2. I forgot to get my registration packet, and don't realize it until I'm already running the race. I don't have my BIB. This is a great concern to me in my dream. How can I be running without my BIB?

3. I am always running around the 2-mile marker and not making any progress. I have 24.2 miles to go but can't get past the first two miles!

4. I lost or forgot the electronic chip to go on my shoe, and because my progress and speed cannot be tracked, the marathon people think I'm cheating and kick me out of the race.

So, I apologize for a negative post in which I'm completely FREAKING OUT, but if I can't be honest, what else can I be?

I'm hoping that as I get my mental thoughts more organized, I begin to feel excited about what I'm about to accomplish again. We shall see, we shall see! Think good running thoughts for me!